Dude, Where's My Library Book?

An Excerpt from April, 2008...
So there I was, excited about a new book freshly checked out from my local library, with probably enough time on the nightshift to read like half of it. You see, Katy and I are underway of our Total Money Makeover with Dave Ramsey (www.DaveRamsey.com) and he recomended this book called The Richest Man In Babylon. And…I found it at my local library for free to check out! This is exciting for me at this particular time in life. When I got to work I took out my backpack a gardening catalog, two books and some trauma shears which I placed on the counter of the workstation. About four hours later I realize, hey, I’ve got time to break into this book. So I reached up on the counter and I’m like, “Dude, where’s my library book?” And for that matter, where the heck is my other book? My shears are cast aside, my gardening magazine is there, but my books are missing. Everyone scoured the whole department for like 15 minutes. (mind you this is a small department) So I see the head security officer and I tell him my woes. He says, “You know what time it happened abouts?” I’m like, I think so, sometime around 9 probably. So we procede to go up to the camera room. You see, this is 2008 and the department is monitored by surveillance cameras. Suddenly, everyone has become suspect; patients, family members, nurses, doctors, housekeeping, security officers even. After staring at the cameras for half an hour….There! right there! That lady is looking at my books…and she took them, there she goes!!! I couldn’t believe it, it was like a local episode of Cops. Now I just had to apprehend my suspect. Who turns out to be a mother of an adult patient we had earlier. Long story short, (Too Late!) I get her on the phone and ask about the beforementioned books. To which she says, Ohhhhh, those were yours. Well, uh, brainchild… I don’t think the book with the giant Adams County Library sticker was your book, now was it? So she begins to backpeddle and then commit to bringing them back the next day sometime. I don’t think so lady. I need my books, and I need them now. (I was much nicer on the phone.) It was midnight afterall. I figured an hour was a reasonable time limit. Or my good ol friends at Denver Police Department might need to pay a visit. About 30 minutes later, here comes my books back to my safe keeping. Lesson learned here… never leave anything out, ever.